Social Media and Self-Esteem:
3 Ways to Improve the Way Social Media
Makes You Feel
By: Ella-Mei Matias, Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo undergraduate intern, supervised by Dr. Hannah Roberts
Social media seems to consume us nowadays. From mindlessly scrolling, to relaxation, or even when using with friends, it’s everywhere. While social media offers many positive aspects, like allowing us to express ourselves or nurture our connections with others, it has many negative side effects. Aside from being highly compelling, it appears to be contributing to low self-esteem – especially for adolescent users. Why does this seem to be the case?
The Problem
While scrolling through various apps, TikTok, Snapchat, Instagram, Pinterest, or otherwise, we can see into the lives of hundreds of other people. In this scrolling, we can be exposed to many stimuli which can have negative effects – friends hanging out without us, influencers with items we want, or people with traits we wish we possessed.
The Comparison Aspect
Comparison is normal, and it helps us gauge our sense of self (Angela, 2021). For example, when playing a sport, you may compare your ability and skills to your teammates, or in class, you may compare your grades to others in order to assess your performance. While these comparisons help us understand ourselves better, social media leads to increasingly upward social comparison; we’re constantly shown the most positive aspects of others’ lives, and the best, edited versions of others. This form of comparison can negatively impact our self-esteem and can lead to lower mood, negative self-appraisals, and emotional problems. It can also lead to a need for social approval – via follows, likes, views, or comments.
How to Use Social Media in a More Positive Way
It’s clear that social media can have some detrimental impacts on our mental health, but what can we do about it? It’s been shown that the way social media affects us is based on the way we interact with and approach social media. Essentially, the best way to use social media is by being mindful about how we use it and creating a positive online environment – and remember, you can always turn off your phone! Here are some ways that you can be more mindful of your social media:
Engage Mindfully
- Check-in with yourself: when using social media, ask yourself some questions. Is what you’re seeing online true to how people really are in real life? Why do you feel validated by social media? Do you feel better or worse after using social media? While scrolling online, you can do regular check-ins – is what I’m seeing helping or harming me? (Jacobson, 2022).
- Focus on the positives: social media can be used for many positive purposes. You create your social media environment! Engage in meaningful connections and weed out anything in your feed that makes you feel negative.
- Portray an authentic version of yourself: being true to yourself in the way you present yourself on social media can help you take it less seriously! Post for enjoyment, not because you believe it will get you likes.
- Interact: it’s easy to mindlessly scroll and consume media, but this can unknowingly lead to feelings of disconnection or loneliness (Social Media, 2020). By interacting with media you are also more likely to be mindful about your social media usage.
- Surround yourself with others who don’t use social media: after all, we tend to behave in similar ways to those we are close to!
Set Boundaries
- Take social media breaks: sometimes a detox can help! This could be for any period of time that feels reasonable to you – 24 hours, or a week, you could even try taking a month off. Taking breaks from social media can help you realize how much you truly use it, and returning to social media after taking some time off can help you be more mindful about how you use it. During this time try and pick up some new hobbies!
- Set boundaries: if you find yourself mindlessly consuming media, it can help to set rigid boundaries. This could include only going on an app for a certain amount of time in one sitting, turning your phone off or on airplane mode during certain times of the day, setting a time-limit for the day, or turning off notifications.
Focus on Real Life
- Focus on your relationships: by prioritizing your relationships, and having a strong support system, you can decrease the ways that social media impacts your self-esteem. Focusing on the people you see face-to-face can help you to create a strong sense of self, supported by the people who know you best. It can also help decrease the likelihood of having problematic social media use.
- Focus on your sense of self: by focusing on who you are without social media, you are able to create realistic and more genuine forms of self-esteem and ways of viewing yourself. When you confidently know who you are, you are less likely to be harmed by negative perceptions on social media (Akdag, 2024).
- Realize it’s not real: social media only presents the most positive aspects of one’s life and is unrealistic – you won’t always look the same as someone who can review and edit photos or videos and people will usually only post images of themselves at their best (which isn’t realistic).
- Practice gratitude: take some time to be grateful for what you do have! It can be easy to focus on what we don’t have when we are constantly shown idealistic online presentations, but taking time to reflect on what you already have is important (Mindful Social Media).
Feel like you’re struggling with your social media or ready to start therapy in California today? Schedule a session with one of our therapists! You can schedule online here!
We hope you enjoyed this blog post! Have more topics you’d like us to blog about? Contact us and we’ll be sure to include your topic in a future post.
References
Acar, I. H., Avcilar, G., Yazici, G., & Bostanci, S. (2022). The roles of adolescents’ emotional problems and social media addiction on their self-esteem. Current Psychology, 41(10), 6838+. http://dx.doi.org.calpoly.idm.oclc.org/10.1007/s12144-020-01174-5
Akdag, B., & Unsal, C. (2024). The Mediating Role of Self-Esteem Bettveen Meaning in Life and Social Media Addiction. ADDICTA: The Turkish Journal on Addictions, 11(1), 99+. http://dx.doi.org.calpoly.idm.oclc.org/10.5152/ADDICTA.2024.23126
Angela. (2021, February 27). Why Do We Compare Ourselves to Others – Mind, Body and Soul. Mind, Body and Soul. https://wp.nyu.edu/mind/2021/02/27/why-do-we-compare-ourselves-to-others/#:~:text=Comparisons%20allow%20us%20to%20form
Bergman, M. (2024, January 10). Social media’s effects on self-esteem | social media victims law center. Social Media Victim’s Law Center. https://socialmediavictims.org/mental-health/self-esteem/
Hatun, O., & Kurtca, T. T. (2023). Examining the Relationship Between Social Support and Social Media Addiction: Role of Self-Esteem. ADDICTA: The Turkish Journal on Addictions, 10(2), 142+. http://dx.doi.org.calpoly.idm.oclc.org/10.5152/ADDICTA.2023.23033
Jacobson, R. (2022, September 2). Social Media and Self-Doubt. Child Mind Institute. https://childmind.org/article/social-media-and-self-doubt/
Mindful Social Media Use. (n.d.). Care-Clinics.com. Retrieved June 29, 2024, from https://care-clinics.com/mindful-social-media-use/#:~:text=Unfollow%20or%20mute%20accounts%20thatSocial Media: 6 Tips for Mindfulness. (2020, February 5). PrairieCare. https://prairie-care.com/resources/type/blog/social-media-6-tips-for-mindfulness/